There are hundreds of quality books on the market right now to support individuals who want to raise their children in a conscious and empowering way. This blog is a simple follow-up to my article about Parenting and Science of Mind.
Try these tips and let me know what works:
Behavior vs. beingness. When your children give you a reason to discipline, always separate all your comments about their behavior from their beingness. Commenting on behavior is necessary to guide them at times but we simply do not want to add doubt to their self-image.
Because you create your world through your words, it is important to remember that your words directly influence your children in ways you may never fully understand. And, the words you speak about them to others matters just as much. Together all this talk both spoken and unspoken affects the mental and emotional environment in which they grow, how they perceive themselves and how others may perceive them.
Treat (Pray affirmatively) for your children daily. This is the gift of Science of Mind, yet, many of us forget to utilize this tool for our children.
Your children MIRROR you more then you would like to admit. Yes, they are reflections of who you are and how you are. Stop trying to deny it. What does this mean? When you see behavior that you don’t like, when they say things that appear unkind or snarky, look in the mirror. Care for your own behavior. Heal your own pain. Pay attention to your language and the way you show up.
Establish dining habits that are free of electronics. Teach your children how to engage by requiring that you as a family must engage during meals. If you are depending upon games to get through dining outside, they either are not ready to dine out or you haven’t spent enough time cultivating this skill. Our children aren’t meant to be seen and not engaged. Engagement is where they learn their greatest skills. Let them know that you think that are interesting!
Okay, let’s go old school here. Manners! Teaching your children manners at the earliest age will give them the skills they will need to engage all sorts of people throughout their life. If they have manners, they will always be invited back.
Practice conversation. Yes, practice engaging your children in conversation. Ask them their opinions about all sorts of things. And then listen openly, listen in a way that invites them to speak. Pay attention to what they are feeling not just what the details of what they are saying.
Let them fail. This might sound hard or cold but in truth, your children will learn and grow and stretch so much more as they try, fail and recover. Allowing them to fall and get back up teaches them about their own resilience. No one can grow these muscles if they think they can do no wrong.
Read to them. Not just when they are little, but as they grow. Sit with them, read to them and then allow them to read to you. And read quality books, avoid mass produced books that sell your children on t-shirts and tv shows. Ask your local librarian for some classics. And, add poetry to their reading. Reading to them supports them in multiple ways but mostly it creates beautiful intimacy between you and your children.
Be willing to say NO and mean it. Setting and keeping boundaries is another important skill for you as parents and for your children. Learning that no means no and stop means stop has implications beyond you being in control. There will come a time, when your children learn to respond to your no or stop that could save their life.
Saying no and teaching them to respond to no is a loving thing to do for your children and teens. They won’t like it and they will try to defy you at times, but all of this is part them growing their wings.
Bonus note: NO parenting tricks have more potency then you knowing yourself and parenting from a conscious and aware place. Grow you and your children will reflect that. And, of course, be the presence of love.