Here is a simple tool for transformation, one that will surprise you but one that is as easy as breathing. If you are reading this, it is likely that you are a spiritually-practiced human, a metaphysician of sorts, and you are dedicated to being a change agent in the world. But are you ready to take on and practice one of the simplest tools that we have?
It works like this: if you are near an individual who is bitching, moaning, complaining, gossiping or finding fault – DON’T JOIN IN! Don’t agree in any way. That’s it! That simple. This is not just for when you are overhearing complaining, it is also about when someone entertains limiting ideas of themselves or anyone else. If your friend is feeling overwhelmed and concerned about their bills and they say something like: “I just never have enough money to get to the end of the month” - DON’T JOIN IN. Now when I say don’t join in, I am referring to not joining in verbally OR non-verbally. So, do not lend your thoughts, your consciousness or your energy. Don’t support their less-than consciousness and don’t collaborate with anything that is limiting.
Your friend or whoever will never get to know that you provided this service for them, but this should not concern you. If you need for someone to know, that is your ego needing acknowledgement and that will only get in the way. Sometimes we want to feel needed or important and this might inflate your ego but inflating your ego does not empower you in any way. In fact, it is a distraction.
One of our metaphysical grandfathers, Raymond Charles Barker said it this way: “There is no truth in this.” Whether you say it that way or simply say: “NO, not happening, no truth here, no I will not join in”, any of these options support a more evolved way of being.
Don’t kid yourself; while you are chatting with someone, the person you are talking to might expect some kind of response or even an agreement as they express their fears and upset. This can create a challenge for some because your friend, or whoever, might just be looking for some sympathy because they are unaware that your agreement with their less-than thinking is the most limiting kind of support that you can give. Be creative, find something to say that lets them know that you hear them but without agreeing.
Now let’s be clear. Conversations are only one simple straight forward way to NOT JOIN IN. Think about what happens when you read the paper (yes, they still exist) or listen to any news source, read the memes on Facebook, watch the commercials on television or listen on the radio. You are completely bombarded with a pull to agree with less-than.
Just don’t join in mindlessly. Cultivate a healing listening. A healing listening is a practice of hearing someone without empowering their story, their pain, or their limitations. A healing listening will mean that you do not give your power to reports of diagnoses, reports that claim the world is in trouble, or that a new disease is on the rise. Don’t join in, not with your listening, your heart and especially your fear. You are where limitation ends and possibility begins.